yesterday my uncle asked me: "so cathleen, what are u doing now?"
me: "oh..at NUS FASS."
uncle: "what happened to the....(gesters paintings movement)"
me: "oh right...eh...*no money*"
uncle: (nods in understanding)
--silence--
brother swoops in to rescue conversation: "u got the local scholarship didn't you?"
me: "ya..'they' only gave me the local scholarship..(shrug)
uncle: "Ohh..then there's no point..u didn't take it right?"
me: "NO....(laugh)"
uncle: "yaaa..good. it's ok..can go after.." (assuming he meant for postgrad)

ok. it seems like quite a USUAL converstaion. but considering the content and who i was conversing with - makes this conversation quite significant to me(can't u tell? since i've apparently memorised exactly how the convo went?) it shows that he remembered and that i'm not quite so invisible. that i did not make a mistake refusing the local scholarship - and his opinion (though in minimal words) about that is very valuable to me. it also showed a degree of support..which up till yesterday, i assumed did not exist. a certain warmth was present as well which was pleasantly surprising.

sigh. i duno. it's a confusin family affair...i'm conflicted about it.

cathleen

NUS FASS freshy
turning 20 this 12th July

ARTIST

desperately seeking
FREEDOM
PURPOSE
LIFE

lament.

maybe in some other time
some other place

inspire.

though we travel the world over the find the beautiful
we must carry it with us or we find it not

the sky.

www.flickr.com

a perfect paradox of constancy and change
always there but never the same

i love.

family
buddie baby
precious friends

LONDON

i must down to the seas again
to the lonely sea and sky
and all i ask
is a tall ship and star
to steer her by

talk to me.

i carry your heart.

e.e. cummings

i carry your heart with me
i carry it in my heart
i am never without it
anywhere i go you go,
my dear;
and whatever is done
by only me
is your doing,
my darling

i fear no fate
for you are my fate,
my sweet
i want no world
for beautiful you are my world,
my true
and it's you are
whatever a moon
has always meant
and whatever a sun
will always sing
is you

here is the deepest secret nobody knows
here is the root of the root
and the bud of the bud
and the sky of the sky
of a tree called life;
which grows higher
than the soul can hope
or mind can hide
and this is the wonder
that's keeping the stars apart.

i carry your heart
i carry it in my heart

angels.

cheng hong
claudyne
esther
inn poh
janice
joan
kai ying
mandy
seow ling
sara
serene
shangyi
sook chan
tze yin
xian min
xinli
zhixin

aep blog

listen.

here
there is love



Love is patient,
love is kind.
It does not envy,
it does not boast,
it is not proud.

It is not rude,
it is not self-seeking,
it is not easily angered,
it keeps no record of wrongs.

Love does not delight in evil
but rejoices with the truth.

It always protects,
always trusts,
always hopes,
always perseveres.

love never fails


Corinthians 1:4-7

the history.

December 2007
January 2008
February 2008
March 2008
April 2008
May 2008
June 2008
July 2008
August 2008
September 2008
October 2008
November 2008
December 2008
January 2009
February 2009
May 2009
June 2009

thanks.

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